That's how long I've been here at this space, writing about life and culture, things in our daily lives and in the world around us, pain and death and ugliness, life and hope and beauty, and how God resides in all of these things and fills them up with Himself.
Here is what I wrote in my very first post:
Writing is a difficult thing. It requires one to be vulnerable, to trust the world with a piece of oneself while knowing that the world can be a cruel place.There is not much about these thoughts that I would change, even after a year. It is still difficult to send out my thoughts and ideas, my hurts and my hopes. I still feel almost silly telling anyone that I have a blog.
Perhaps this is why I have declined to join the world of blogging until now.
Perhaps, too, it seems as though everyone is a blogger. Everyone has something to say and not many wish to listen. Perhaps no one will wish to listen to me.
Yet I still feel that God is asking me to write. Not to write and hide but also to share.
I have resisted this for quite a while now. Why? Partly due to the work involved.
Even now, I am only agreeing to write once a week.
A large part, however, is that I don't feel that I have anything new to say. To add to the over-quoting of Solomon, "There is nothing new under the sun". (Ecc. 1.9) Who am I to think that I could say something new or even to say something old in an improved way?
Perhaps God is simply asking me to restate old things for a single reader.
Perhaps God is even more simply asking me to write so that I can grow to be more like Him as I think through various ideas aloud.
Whatever the reason, here I am. Obeying, even though afraid. I will write. God will listen. I pray He will be pleased.
And I still feel that God is still asking me to keep writing.
There is a lot that I have learned this year.
I have discovered that there is a huge world out there called the blogosphere. It is, mostly, a world that I don't interact with very often. Partly because I only write once a week and haven't yet made the space for interacting with other blogs. Partly, too, because many in this world have begun their blogs to make money, mostly for very beautiful reasons, yet I have decided that I don't want to clutter up my space with advertisements and buttons. Not that there is anything at all wrong with any of that. I simply want something different, something more simple for this place.
I have discovered that the more I write, the better I am at this art. The more I write, the more my heart craves to create. The more I write, the more ideas that flood into my mind.
I have discovered that I love the art of writing in this sort of a place, love how I am able to craft and mold my words together with other arts. Photographs, paintings, sculptures, music...it fills something inside of me to bring them together to make words even more beautiful than before.
One of the most beautiful things I have discovered is how my love for God has grown with my writing. When I committed to writing once a week, I was also, inadvertently, committing to continue reading, studying, listening, pursuing God and the things of God. This has expanded my heart and mind and caused my view and knowledge of God to hugely grow.
Perhaps this is why God asked me to write.
I still wish to have others read what I write. I still have a dream of being published.
Yet if all that happens through my writing is that I become more like Christ, I am satisfied.
So. I will close this first year as I began:
Whatever the reason for my writing, here am I in this space. I will continue to obey, even though it is hard and often causes my heart to feel fear. I will write. God will listen. I pray He will continue to be pleased.
(By the way, I will be changing things around here fairly soon and moving to my truly very own space. I'll let you know when that time comes, but I pray and hope that you will continue to join me on my journey.)