There are many things I enjoy doing and I have always done well at most everything I have attempted. I'm one of those who is an expert at nothing but very good at many various skills and activities. The result of this? I am a fairly confident person.
I know that with anything over which I
have control, I have a good chance at success. And there you see my
trouble: “anything over which I have control”.
For most of my life I have had control
over all that I do. Then I became a mommy.
Suddenly I discovered that even when I
read all the right books and learn all the perfect techniques, even
when I master everything perfectly, my children may or may not
respond as I was promised.
You may roll your eyes or shake your
head at my naivety, but this truly rocked my world. My confidence had vanished.
I struggled and prayed and sought
wisdom from many sources. After one particularly desperate session
of prayer, though, my confidence was beautifully restored.
As much as I may have wished, God did
not give me the perfect technique for parenting my little ones. My
confidence in myself had nothing to do with my restoration.
Instead, God gently reminded me that He
loves my girls even more than I do. Which is a lot. God wants, even more than I do,
that they should love Him and love people.
And if God wants something to happen,
who can stand in His way?
I
still have children who refuse to respond properly to my masterful
parenting techniques (which often involves stomping my foot at them),
but as long as I remember God's promises, my confidence can no longer be shaken.
But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. ~ Jeremiah 17.7-8
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